Bill Barr Does Not Have the Figure for Clear Heels

…and Bob Mueller ain’t afraid to say so.

In fairness, the proper term for a man of his stature and achievements is “courtesan” (Alex Wong/Getty)

Of all the hoes who proudly strut the Executive Corner in this golden age of political prostitution, I would dare to say that Bill Barr is the biggest whore of them all.

Granted, that is a very competitive category these days. Post-Mattis, Trump’s cabinet is a proper stable, devoid of anyone who even pretends to act in the public interest. All of Trump’s acting secretaries are obsequious, oily toadies of some powerful industry lobby or another, whether it be Boeing’s Patrick Shanahan or hydrocarbon-stan Andrew Wheeler at EPA. They know they’re only there for smash-and-grab regulatory looting, and they’re pretty forthcoming about it. The only sincere convictions among them are John Bolton’s “Do You Want Total War?!” initiative and the general loathing of Guatemalans, neither of which are held particularly dear by Trump himself.

The men (full stop) of the Acting Cabinet never pretended to be anything they were not. Bill Barr, on the other hand, was once a real lawyer, who once served a real president — albeit in a similarly underhanded capacity — but he still made the conscious decision to wade into this open sewer. No one with any credibility to speak of has been willing to go near this administration in some time, but the former A.G. wanted…