Chuck Schumer Plays the Hand He’s Dealt

An Entreaty for Liberals to Please Shut Up, Like, Right Now

“Senator Schumer, if you were any more liberal and Jewish, you’d be Barbara Streisand.” -Jon Stewart
Yes, he is. That’s the whole reason you’re protesting.
Tom Cotton, whom Lindsey Graham called “The Steve King of the Senate” to which Senator Cotton replied “at least Steve King can win an election in Iowa” and the press corps be all like “Ooooooooh! Yo said that!” as if an incumbent winning in a Nazi-leaning rural House district is in any way comparable to a Senator losing in a field of 16 presidential primary candidates. In related news, Tom Cotton is a white supremacist piece of shit.
I want whomever created this meme to fall off a small cliff in an unstaffed National Park, break their leg, and then spend days on end crying out helplessly for a park ranger or, failing that, the sweet release of death. Not that I wish that suffering on anyone, I just want to prove a point — 15 people die at Yosemite every year.
“Jim Jordan was a terrorist as a legislator going back to his days in the Ohio House and Senate. Fuck Jordan. He’s an asshole.” -Former GOP Speaker John Boehner

Unverified. Uncredentialed. Unpublished. Uncompromising.